Every memory I have for the first 19 years of my life.

The Tower of Brahma. Chapter 63. Fire Over Water. (edit)

6/21/10

Wow, this is pretty much every memory I had of my entire life up until I began a life online, just before my twenties as I prepared to go down the darkest existence I could conjure up for myself that is just now coming to a close.

It pretty much speaks for itself. I left out names to protect myself mostly. But it was a good life, I was happy despite feeling so internally dark and twisted. I was always laughing and smiling and getting other people to as well. People liked having me around, and I have never had friendships like that again in my life. Whether it was jumping through backyards, or never leaving the basement, it was the best of times.

There is some admission to sexual issues here, but I think my existence has been warped by alternative life experiences. Poor white boy with rich black friends, a rejection of girls yet a dependency upon them, always seeking for the best, while focusing only upon the worst. I'm sorry Freddie, Karen, and Grandma. None of you wanted me to punish myself for as long as I have. I'm happy now.