The Tower of Brahma - Chapter 57.3 - HotShot ShotDown (edit)
(commentary)Damn, I really like these three parts of chapter 57, which is really such a sexy number, right? So, Codename Hotshot. That was my daydream superspy handle. I had a red Ferrari that could launch a motorcycle from the trunk, I would then eject myself out of the car onto it in mid-air...while on road trips with my parents. Lots of leaping, flipping, Judo throws, handheld surveillance devices (uhh, like an iPhone! From writing this on a Sidekick in 2004 to GPS trackable Big Brother 2013).
I get a bit exposition-y, but I try and do it with flair, finally seeing where I was going with the other two chapters, as if it was slowly being put together in his mind simultaneously across the duration of his relationship with Jazz. And ends with a hopeful tone, as I always have had throughout my life. Strip me down, knock me down, tear me down, I just get up smiling. Because no matter what, our interactions meant something, and more often then not I lay myself as willing lamb for people to reveal unto themselves exactly what they're capable of doing to someone who offers them only unconditional love, patience, and understanding. That is how I do relationships. If I care about you, then we're friends, and if we become lovers, truly open and connected people, then I cherish that. I strive to maintain strength in all my friendships.
I feel too much, that much is certain, so I guess I do hide away a lot. More than I thought I did. But that's who I am mostly. I try and force socializing down my throat in an effort not to be a hermit and have fun, but having fun just means me sitting around awkwardly alone at events Instagramming and writing chapters. I don't talk to anyone, though I want to. I have begun to realize just how paralyzed I become in public, unless I'm walking with someone I know, and then it's totally fine and I'm me again.
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